The day my life changed FOREVER

Its weird to write about this, but having just gone through the year anniversary of Cody's death I feel a strong urge to write about it. To get it out and help with my own healing. Its a long road when you loose someone so dear and close to you so unexpectedly. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. Its weird to think that hes been gone for over a year. There are some days I still find myself waiting for him to come home, only to remember hes never coming home. Just a fair warning continue on if you can, I know this will be hard for many to read but here is my experiences from that day.

The morning started out like any other typical morning. WE had spent the weekend at Florence in a house we rented with some friends. We had an amazing time of riding 4 wheelers and hanging out. Cody had so much fun just putting around in the Kabota with Braydon in his car seat strapped next to him on teh seat. Anyways back to that morning I remember him coming in, giving me a kiss and staying goodbye. I rolled over and went back to sleep like I did every morning. A while later my alarm went off and I got up and ready for my day. I had to work so I got Braydon ready and headed into town. I had not made it very far down the road when I had to stop for flaggers. There way a few cars ahead of me but I could not see much as they stopped us on top of the hill and something had happened at the bottom. As I was waiting there an ambulance drove by with its lights on. Shortly after they let us drive again. Coming upon the wreck I saw a vehicle to my right in down the steep embankment in the small creek. It was weird at the time because I was wondering to my self what type of vehicle it even was because it was so smashed up I couldn't tell. I slowly dove past the vehicle. After I passed it I felt an urge to look over my right shoulder, as I turned my head I saw the logo on the side of the vehicle and instantly knew whose it was. All i remember it stopping my truck in the middle of the road and getting out. I was running toward the police officers ans rescue workers. I was yelling over and over who's vvehicle is that, who's vehicle is that. I told them never mind I all ready knew it was Cody's. One they asked me who I was they confirmed my worst fear it was Cody work truck. It was so unrecognizable because it rolled. He drove a F250 with a truck box & diesel tank in the back. All of that was thrown out of the truck. The police officer had another officer come over and speak to me. I told them to call my mom now. As the officer talked to me all I heard was that they had put the paddles on him and I blacked. I don't remember what she said next. I remember walking calmly back to the truck. A dear neighbor who is a volunteer firefighter in kings valley was sitting with me. he asked me where I wanted to go and I said to the hospital of course. In my mind that where Cody was at as I had saw the ambulance leave with my own two eyes. Next the officer came back. He was talking about things saying my mom was on her way and the Chaplin. I remember thinking why in the hell do we need a Chaplin when Cody is at the hospital. I must of said it aloud cause eh said that Cody was deceased. Wow I though I had lost is before. I just remember crying and saying it wasn't so. Poor Braydon sat next to me int eh truck so calm and sarine. He was looking off into the distance babbling and smiling. I believe now that he could see his daddy. Shortly thereafter Cody dad & step mom arrived. Mom tears more questioning more disbelieving. Then my parents arrived. They helped me gather Braydon & took me to their vehicle. As I was leaving out comes Cody best friend. He had heard and didn't believe it. Had had to see it for himself. I had to tell him it was true. We hugged and cried more tears. I didn't want to leave but they made me. I found out later her was still int eh vehicle and they didn't want me to see that. Its weird its like the rest of the day went in slow motion. I remember my phone ringing and ringing. I jusrt gave it to my mom to answer. Small town shit travels fast. I remember going into work and they all ready knew. I just looked at Darr and cried. I remember the officer coming to Cody moms house to explain to everyone what they found and thought had happened. I just sat there listening I was there but I wasn't. It was a total y out of body experience. I remember going to the funeral home that day. That was so hard. I dint think I could go in. With alot of encouragement I did it. He didn't look as bad as I though he would but it was soo hard. I lost it again. I remember crying, yelling at God. How was i going to raise a child on my own. I could never do by myself for Braydon what Cody wanted so badly fro him.

Although I may never understand why God took Ody from me and Braydon I know that I am a stronger woman for going through what i have. I know that although it was a terrible thing some good had come from it. It has taken my over a year to see the good but I have. I have connected with some amazing people because I have went through this.